My Greatest Achievement

I feel like I have tested myself mentally and physically over the years… but NOTHING compared to the intensity and demands of labour. It is a tricky subject to write about and one I wasn’t even sure whether to or not. There aren’t really any words that can describe childbirth or do it justice. It is just one of those things… when you know, you know!

Once you have been through childbirth you will want to high five every woman who’s also experienced it. I found it a completely life-changing and overwhelming experience and it by far the proudest moment of my life. I can’t believe a huge proportion of the population goes through it but yet it is so unspoken about and I was so ill-educated on it.

I feel very strongly about having a positive birth and empowering yourself to do this. I am aware that not everyone will have a positive experience but preparing in the best way possible will allow you to be better equipped for whatever hand you are dealt. When I got pregnant I only knew one person who’d had a home birth and two people who had had a positive birth. Otherwise, there was no positive chat around childbirth – mainly horror. I was also angry that a lot of the mainstream content online just told you what to pack in your hospital bag, this often included makeup and hair straighteners – fine if you want to look good for your photos but are they really going to be helpful when you need to push out a baby?

 

Going for the onsight!

As climber’s, we are determined, single-minded, well prepared and like to try really hard. So, if you are expecting, what better way than channelling these attributes to labour. I remember a friend telling me preparing for labour it is like preparing for the hardest route you will ever onsight. Interestingly, it sounds like climber Caro Ciavaldini did some similar prep as she said she relates it to competition climbing.

When the day eventually arrives and it is time for the baby to come you have to go for the onsight there and then, there is no backing off or deciding you don’t feel like it today. When your body decides today is the day then the baby is coming whether you are ready or not. So you have to prepare for this “route” you know absolutely nothing about: you don’t know what it will feel like; if you will be fit enough; if you’ll be strong enough; how hard it will be; how hard you will have to try; how long it will take; how tired you will get and how physically or mentally demanding it will be. You just have to prepare in whatever way you can and hope you can figure it out.

Have you ever had that experience when you start a hard climb and everything else disappears? Even though you don’t know the climb, with the right preparation your mind goes into “Flow” state, an intense state of focus where everything else drops away: fear, doubt, sounds. You just move and somehow know what to do. A similar thing happened when I was in active labour, although I was acutely aware of every single contraction I was also in some kind of Flow state. I was intensely focussed on the task in hand, never did it cross my mind for a second that I couldn’t do it or that we could have complications and may need to go to hospital.

 

How did I prepare?

I mainly did mental preparation…breathing techniques, watching positive videos, visualisation, relaxation techniques. You are probably thinking I went a bit OTT and why would you do all that when so many women go through it every single day and many do it not knowing anything… I wanted to engage with it, do it as naturally as possible and have the best possible experience I could and to be honest, I was pretty terrified of childbirth. I did my research and I prepared my body in every possible way I could.

Everybody’s experience of childbirth is different and unique. Overall we had a positive experience (a combination of luck and preparation) and opted for a natural as possible home birth. However, there is no right or wrong way and a home birth won’t be for everyone.

I’ll give a few details below about what we did.

DURING PREGNANCY:

> Hypnobirthing. I know, I know it sounds very hippy. However, it is simply about empowering women and their birth partners by educating them on birth, how their bodies work and providing them with techniques to cope with the big day.  Some of the techniques include visualisation, relaxation, positive affirmations, oxytocin boosters. There are various different hypnobirthing courses available ranging in price and from online to in person. We did ours with Lucy, these session were available in person or on skype.

> As soon as I knew I was pregnant I didn’t watch/listen to anything negative about birth.

> If possible include your birth partner in all your prep, they should know every part of the plan and exactly what you want. They need to able to speak with the midwives/ doctors on your behalf because you need to be focussed on the job in hand. They should be busy the entire time not just napping on the floor. I 100% could not have done it without Alex, he was by my side every second and kept me going.

>Saw a women’s health physio antenatally and did a lot of exercises for my body. Do your pelvic floor a favour and see someone who can teach you how to engage it properly and practice these exercises to make this muscle stronger. You won’t regret this on the other side. A friend also recently directed me to these free resources online. If you are based in North Wales and want to see someone in person I’d really recommend Sarah-Jane.

> Labour as the name suggests is a massive test of physical endurance so make sure your body is vaguely up to the challenge. I am not saying you need to be in the best shape of your life but keeping as active as possible during pregnancy can’t be a bad thing, even if it is just going for gentle walks.

> I read these books; Ina May’s Guide to Child Birth, The Positive Birth Movement. You can pick up these for about £10-15 online.

> We attended Positive Birth Movement meetings. These take place for free all over the world.

> I went to a pregnancy yoga class for a few weeks, this mainly focussed on relaxation. There are also great resources free online if you want a workout, YouTube channels such as the bump room.

> I had acupuncture (for the month leading up to my due date) to relax and prepare my body for labour. I also had a specific session when I went overdue.

DURING LABOUR:

> Used the hypnobirthing techniques I’d been practising.

> We used a birthing pool. The midwife made us save it till the very end, I hated that at the time (but getting in too early can slow everything down). It was such a relief to get in the pool at the end and the warm water acted as pain relief.

> I used a TENs machine as a method of pain relief, it works by delivering small electrical impulses on your skin via adhesive pads. These electrical impulses flood the nervous system, reducing its ability to transmit pain signals to the spinal cord and brain. Some people love these, I didn’t find it took away the pain, more acted as a small distraction.

> We used acupressure during labour, there are points on the body to press for pain relief, if things have slowed down etc.

Why we chose home over hospital

I’d never even considered a home birth. I just thought everyone went to hospital and being at home was dangerous. I only changed my mind on this months into my pregnancy. To generalise, you need as much oxytocin as possible to give birth “easily”; things which boost oxytocin are comfort and familiarity. A safe, cosy, quiet environment without interruptions, bright lights and lots of people bustling around you. As soon as I knew this, we both made the decision that so long as I was low risk and everything was going to plan being at home was the best place for us.

 

To put some perspective on how little I knew originally, this is what I  thought when I first got pregnant:

• I’ll give birth in a hospital
• Homebirths sound dangerous
• Water births sound messy and a bit gross
• That labour would take a few hours
• That I would feast my way through labour, eating sweets and treat.

This is what actually happened;

• We didn’t go to hospital
• I gave birth at home in the living room, the thought of going to hospital never crossed my mind for a second.
• I had the baby in a pool and it wasn’t messy in the slightest
• I didn’t realise there were two stages to labour. And actually the whole labour took DAYS and active labour about 15-18 hours!
• I felt sick and really didn’t want to eat anything from my treat shelf much to my dismay.

 

Everyone experiences labour differently and although we personally had an overall positive experience, I still found it extremely overwhelming and carried some negative feelings about it. Despite ticking all the boxes of our birth plan, it took me a long time to recover from it mentally but also made me stronger knowing what my mind was capable of. I am also aware that even those who have done all their homework and prep still won’t have the birth they imagined. However, as they say, knowledge is power. Whatever birth you have, it can surely only be made more positive if you are armed with information on how your body works and what your options are.

Good luck 🙂